In recent years, it's become increasingly common for adult children to move back in with their parents due to factors like rising rent prices and housing shortages, or while saving for a deposit.
While multigenerational living can be a helpful and practical arrangement for both parties, living together as adults presents unique challenges. Read on for some helpful tips.
Establish clear expectations early
One of the most critical elements of maintaining peace is clear communication. Sit down together and have an open discussion about what each of you expects from the arrangement.
This might cover:
- Household responsibilities: Will your child contribute to chores, cooking or grocery shopping? How will you share household duties fairly?
- Financial contributions: Will they pay rent, contribute to utilities, or help with groceries?
- Personal space: Are they expected to inform you if they’re coming home late, or is there flexibility? Are there separate living areas for people to retreat to?
Respect each other's independence
Your adult child is now an independent adult with their own opinions, habits and routines. While it’s tempting to fall back into a parenting role, it’s essential to respect their autonomy and not fall back into the habit of doing everything for them.
At the same time, your adult child should recognise that your home is still your space, and while they’re living there, they need to be respectful of your household norms.
Create some separate space
One of the challenges of living together is the lack of personal space, and ideally everyone will have somewhere to retreat to. Whether it’s a spare room, a second living area or even a garage, having separate areas reduces the likelihood of conflict.
Have some shared space
Equally, try to maintain certain areas of the house as common spaces to which everyone has equal access. Sharing meals might not happen every day, but when it does it’s a great way to enjoy each other’s company.
Maintain open communication
Living together as adults can bring up issues or annoyances that didn’t exist when they were younger. Open and respectful communication is vital to solving any problems before they escalate.
If something is bothering you, whether it’s late-night noise, issues with cleanliness or the housework not being done, try to address these concerns calmly and respectfully. Avoid letting frustration build up until it leads to resentment or an explosive argument. Similarly, encourage your adult child to speak up if they have concerns about the living arrangement.
Encourage responsibility
Adult children often move back home to save money, pursue a new job or transition to another stage of life. Encourage them to take responsibility for their financial and personal growth during this time. For example, help them set goals for finding a job, saving for their own place or even getting back into school. You could also help with things like job hunting or budgeting, but ultimately, it’s about giving them the space to grow while offering support when needed.
Sometimes, adult children may feel like they’re stuck or not making progress. As a parent, you can act as a sounding board or even offer gentle nudges without making them feel pressured.
Allow for some highs and lows
It’s important to remember that shared living isn’t always easy for either party. Be patient with each other, and remember that compromises will be needed on both sides. While you will probably feel relief when your adult children have moved out again, living together can also lighten the domestic load and provide an opportunity to spend time together that you may even miss when it’s over!
Do you need more or less space?
If you need more space for multigenerational living, or would like to downsize, talk to the LJ Hooker Mona Vale team about your options in the Northern Beaches. Let us know what you’re looking for and we can talk you through preparing your current home for sale so that when the right time comes you’re ready to act.
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